I feel like crap today

I went to my shrink and had a good visit but just feeling down I guess I don't know.  It is after the holidays and I am just tired. My heart is physically hurting and I don't know why it is worrying me though. I should quit smoking really I wish I could but I have the bad habit and don't know how to. I need to be back on my cholesterol meds but have run out and didn't want to go to the doctor because the wife is such a bitch in the office I hate her. She runs the office I don't see how he is married to her, he is a really nice Indian doctor and she is a whore. She is all snooty and hateful and treats his patients like shit I have seen her do it not just me either. I can't stand the bitch. I probably am going to loose it with her one day and tell her ass off. See you can tell I don't feel good ... I am cussing and irritable. I have to make dinner too all I want to do is take a shower and lay down. I am tired. I don't want to cook today. I don't want to do anything, I went to a friends house and this mood just came over me like a dark cloud. I feel sad or something I don't know what ..I just feel dark. I could go to sleep but it is in the afternoon and I wouldn't sleep tonight. My daughter is going back to school next week and the doctor upped her Vyvanse maybe she will loose weight. She ate 6 helpings of lasanga the other day. I can't believe how much she likes italian food. I am going to have to become the food nazi he said. I don't want to become irrational with her but she eats too much and is getting fat. He also said it can make her start purberty early. I don't want that !  I worry as it is for her ..

I am taking the crap out of the cabinets starting new grocery shopping time and it is going out if its not healthy.I am tired of this family eating crap. I am buying whole wheat pasta and using apple sauce instead of butter when I bake cakes and stuff. I am not feeding them crap anymore they can hate me if they want to but they will get over it. No one in my family is having a heart attack !  Damnit. I am done with the sugar and sweets fed up my kids get so hyper from it they drive me crazy. I have to go cook now and do dishes so that sucks ass got to go. I hate today really I do.
bye for now.