The reading said "trust your instincts". I would walk through fire for the sake of my husband, I would and I am desperate to save my marriage. I don't care what God has to use to bring us closer, to make him realize what he is doing and how bad it hurt us. It hurts both of us.
I love him with my whole being. I remember when we met how fresh and new everything was and how it felt like he and I could conquer the world. Oh how to have that back ! I am crying now, the ibuprofen hasn't helped the pain and I am saddened by what I have seen and disheartened by what I don't have control over. I must trust God to work in these circumstances.
I am calling the doctor first thing Monday morning and trying to get an appointment before the end of the week. My daughter has to see the psych doctor for ADD meds on Wednesday so I can't go then but maybe before or after that day. I dunno, I am overwhelmed with fear and sadness, but ready to do whatever it takes.
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