This is more for cleansing my soul I guess than for anything else after all no one is reading this really. I am smiling as I am writing this. Susan looked at my house and decided that I wasn't keeping it up to her standards which I have heard before from others, she afterall was not the first person that has said this to me. Anne my neighbor had said it before too. Cynthia had told me awhile back she understood how hard it is to keep your house when you are "on medicine" and that made me feel better. You see I never feel all that great or motivated nor does my leg feel 100% so I suffer indellibly to hurt and limp around the house forgetful from my topomax. It sucks. I can't remember where I put things or what I am doing and if it weren't for my ADD meds I would get nothing done.
I dunno she had NO grace for me and to be such a "BIG" christian and I put christian in lower case because she didn't show me that what she was. I just got angry and retaliated and got reactive with her turning into my seven year old self when I feel threatened and finally had to tell her lets just drop it. No one was winning. She said ok. She finally saw my point I just told her I had things to do. I have to pay her for the groceries she bought next paycheck I think because I am running out of money and still have to go to the doctor and see my shrink and stuff I dunno ? It is going to be hard. I get paid again on the first, and now I have to take my dogs to the vet they are coughing so I am not sure if they caught something from her dogs or not.
The guinea pig is doing well did I mention we let my daughter get one. She still won't sleep in her room. But I got her a cot and she sleeps on that in my room. I don't know what else to do. I am going to finish cleaning in my room today and make up the bed with fresh sheets and revacuum the living room and make steaks tonight and potatoes it should be yummy. I am also going to make asparagus. It was funny when I went grocery shopping the ladies behind me were complaing about me using coupons and how I was taking a long time *(I had to run out to the car and get my card) "I could have made breakfast by now and ate it " one of them said. The other said "I never clip them" if they don't respect their money that their husbands make it isn't my problem or that they make well what can I do ? I saved $57 on grocery savings and that is great plus fuel perks. I got a pack of bacon for free too. Who can do better than that ? I am sure many of you can .. I am still learning but I am a work in progress. I read in James in the Bible yesterday. I have got to tame my tongue because salty and spring water do NOT flow out of the same brook. ugh.... Tell me God does not try to speak to me a lot. Billy the salesman was telling me to read in James and it was a good lesson I am not done yet. He is a good young man. I would have a son his age if I wouldn't have had a miscarriage in college. I think about it a lot sometimes. It hurts but what can you do. I was only 18. No one to help me, except God knew what was best for me.
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