I was reading in James today (Sunday)

Well it is Father's Day and I have had a bath and feel much better. My friend is gone and still was having words with her yesterday. It was terrible, especially after reading in James this morning about how we can "tame the tongue" and it is "like a fire" and "salt and spring water don't flow out of the same stream"... nope they don't. Taming the tongue is a hard thing to do and it is NOT my specialty. I am so mean, I put up flamingo's to pee my neighbor off and found a quarter stuck in my door (glass) the other night so that when I went out to smoke it fell in my foyer. It really creeped me out ! I am not sure how it got there either.

Billy came over this morning and I didn't have a thing to wear to church all my clothes all need to be folded or hung up or something but all I had was jeans that were two sizes too big. It was terrible. I can't even give them away because Susan isn't living where she can take clothes all her stuff was in her car and it was packed to the hilt. It really hurt my feelings "tattoooes are for harley riders" "I can't live like this" things like that were said by her. You know the minute she left I started cleaning ? I just was so incredibly stressed I could not function. I just so could not function. And my husband bought me a Kirby vacuum so it works great ! You can actually tell you vacuumed when you use it. I have NEVER had a vacuum to where it looks like you used it before and it cleaned. Usually the stuff comes back from underneath the carpet fibers and dirties the carpet back up again but this one wow ! I am not trying to sell it but I just can't imagine using ANYTHING else. It is amazing and my house doesn't smell like dog either it gets that out too. I am amazed !!!! YAY for the house it is going to be clean :) I am so excited.

Billy is coming back over after church, she was crying because they made her a corsage (spelling ?) in memory of her father and she was so touched.  I told her I was going to give her some of the PINK FLAMINGO'S from my yard ( I bought them to tick off my neighbor and it worked ) they pulled up ALL their flags (which I hated). I feel kinda bad now cuz nobody's happy.

I put bells on the door too the ones with locks that have just glass doors or the one from the basement that has a problem with the lock. That way if the dogs hear it they will start barking and go ape caca. I have 2 bats (steel) next to my bed. Afterall he did threaten to bash my skull in and I must protect my family and she did threaten to shoot me. ? Craziness. There was a quarter in my door I am not sure where that came from if it was a notice like I can come close to you and you won't know it or if it was something else.

I heard Dusty scratch at my glass door that night too it was odd, I was sitting out in the dark smoking and everything was quiet. I heard these tiny scratches at the door and the other dogs were in bed. Bella used to play with him in Topher's room when he first passed and we got her. She had a lot of fun so I knew he was still around. I put a solar light by his plant so I wouldn't see shadows by there anymore. I didn't like it, I couldn't tell if it was him or something else.

Having a bath felt nice, for a change I am clean boy was I stinky. I worked in the house and yard and needed one. phewey ! A girl can work and get stinky yuck ! lol. I use bed head on my hair and it makes it so soft and nice and I have really curly hair and it helps detangle it too. I use Paul Mitchell for straightening and it rocks. It gets it straight as a board and I have cork screw curls and I am a gringo white as a sheet lol. Unless out in the sun lol. I wonder if I have any other thing in me than German or American Indian (Cherokee) and where the curly hair came from ? Do American Indians have the curly hair ? I dunno ? My great grandma had full blood American Cherokee in her. I think her name was Martha (I don't bet that was her original name). My great grandfather was a Church of Christ Preacher in Arkansas ! I have a papa that is dead now that was a PK on a farm he lost part of his thumb in a hay bailer (sorry if it is misspelled}. I dunno my Papa was the best and I loved him he was always giving me change. You know what is odd the other day when I woke up (the day after finding the quarter in the door, there was one on the floor next to my bed. I had just vacuumed my floor ? What is that about ? Could have it been him ? I was just wondering ?

I have the best yard guy now, he is so kind and a Christian. His wife has a cyst on her ovary and I prayed for her with him and I could 'see' when I was praying that she was afraid that she wasn't going to have children. I found a really good Pslams (42) and it talks about how David's soul being down cast and feeling like God wasn't listening and then how he realizes that God is always listening. It is a really good one. God is always there for us . Now what Am I GOING TO DO ABOUT HOW I ACTED TOWARD SUSAN AND HOW SHE TREATED ME ?

I know it is NEVER a good idea that we stay together again. That is for sure, Its not the first time I have been fussed at for not keeping the best house but fussing at me doesn't motivate me and it isn't like it was gross just messy. I needed to vacuum, and organize and you don't do that with company and I was stressed. I don't function well with stress. Now that she is gone I can function I can do things I have been cleaning and doing things and mopped half my kitchen and wiped down all the counters and soaked my husbands infected foot and made him dinner last night, and did almost all the dishes and loads of clothes and helped him plant tomatoes. I did a lot.  I can do it. I always do it.

I don't know what to do for my friend Billie it is Father's Day and she is so sad about losing her dad and sick about it. I am going to give her PINK FLAMINGO's and love on her as much as possible. That is what I can do. That is all anyone can do. To love and be loved.