This indecision got me climbing up the wall
I've been cheating gravity and waiting on the fall
How did this come over me, I thought I was above it all
Our hope's gone up in smoke, swallow your crown
On a kiss, I thought I'd save my breath for you
On a kiss, I thought I'd save my breath for you
Give me some rope I'm coming loose, I'm hanging on you
Give me some rope I'm coming loose, I'm pulling for you now
Give me some rope I'm coming, out of my head, into the clear when you, go,
I, come, loose
These premonitions got me crying up a storm
Leave your condition, this position does no harm
[ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/rope-lyrics-foo-fighters.html ]
On a kiss, I thought I'd save my breath for you
On a kiss, I thought I'd save my breath for you
Give me some rope I'm coming loose, I'm hanging on you
Give me some rope I'm coming loose, I'm pulling for you now
Give me some rope I'm coming, out of my head, into the clear when you, go,
I, come, loose
Give me some rope I'm coming loose, I'm hanging on you
Give me some rope I'm coming loose, I'm pulling for you now
Give me some hope I'm coming through, I'm counting on you
Give me some rope I'm coming, out of my head, into the clear when you, go,
I, come Loose
he has been gone for awhil now and I am lost now without him. The kids have not been behaving.
I am lost.... he is returning Wednesday. I am cleaning his office now and the carpets the dogs pooped on when they got a stomach virus. I am tired as hell and trying to stay motivated. I am going to conquer this stuff with a bold spirit and do it all by tommorow and that way my friends can paint his room I am doing his office art deco and spent like a thousand dollars on the stuff .. it is going to look so cool. Marylin Monroe stuff and Paris stuff and a stool with a really groovy pillow. I also got him a rod and am going to glue place mats on it for a window treatment they are bamboo. It kicks ass. When he gets back I am getting tattooed and going shopping and having some fun. I have gone through hell with these children. LITERALLY my son has been obrtrusive with his mouth and I gave away my daughters toys because she threw her toys on top of the poop in the room I was pissed. It was terrible. I am cleaning it now. I had to take a break because my back was hurting. Bending over to clean is not my thing. I am mopping and scrubbing everything today and moving my husands computer out of his rooom and all his printers (2) and his screens and two printers...I am going to be busy than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest and am enlisting the help of my children because they NEED TO HELP damnit. They have treated me like shit this week. I am tired of it. I yelled at them yesterday and made them cry but I didn't care because they get thier clothes that I was (mind you I washed like 20 loads a couple of weeks ago) I have a REALLY bad back and up until I got on nuerontin I could hardly move I take 4 600mg pills a day some times 5 and that is to keep me from limping ... I could NOT clean I had cleaning ladies.. at 85 a week. they did NOT do their job at all. I was getting taken. I fired ALL of them. especially the nazi one. She was a bitch. Reminded me of Leska and I DID NOT NEED THAT !!!!! anyway I got to do my own stuff and then the kids are throwing the clothes and toys in the floor and I am having my dog buddy poop on them when he caught my daughters stomach virus or got scared from a really bad storm I don't know which.... so I have a room stained with dog poop. It is dried on the carped I had to take hot water and Mr. Clean and totally awesome and pour it on the spots and then am taking a butter knife to scrub it off .. then I have to take the carpet cleaner over it and then the toilet brush.... to get it up... ugh It smells SO incredibly bad in there. I can't imagine how it is going to be when I get it clean. My crazy neighbor Anne came over and asked if my daughter slept in that room and I said NO ! emphatically....I don't dare make her sleep in that room. I could never make her sleep in that room. yuck. Anyway we have spirits in here (i think) unless my friend did something. I have had a peacable time without Philippe and have NOT heard nor seen ANYTHING and my neighbor has been nice to me so I don't know what is up. I am surprised about it too. She didn't yell about anything. Nor fuss about the house which is surprisingly clean. I told her I fired the cleaning ladies and my house is picked up. and my dishes are done for the most part. Just the dishes from last night. I made Hungarian Dumplings. You can get the Hungarian Paprika from World Market it is a specialty store and the recipe is on Cooks. com it is yummy. The only difference in the dumplings is the dumplings are made with eggs and the broth has paprika.. so it is red. It is very tasty. I love it. I have to say I have gone from living like a pig to being organized ... it is nice. I love it. I had a couple of bad weeks but am doing better ... I cleaned the guest bathroom the other day I just need to mop the floor and clean the sink and light fixture. I MUST clean the light fixture in my bathroom it hasn't been cleaned since I moved in. The nazi cleaning lady said she was going to clean it but she never did. I am also going to take a magic eraser to my sons walls in his room and my friends husband and cousing in law are going to hang light fixtures for me that i bought. they are modern. I am not going to have to replace the carpet if I get this poop out which would be nice because the dogs are not housebroken and will go in there again. I KNOW it they have already done it again today the dumbasses. ugh ! I hate that. I don't know why... I have them walk them and they come in the house and they go poop on the carpet in my daughter's room. I am going to lay down those pads and see if that helps if they go in there maybe they will go on those pads. I am listening to the Supremes. I love Diana Ross YAAAY she kicks ass. Her music is about sad stuff but you know it is about love and truthful things that happen in love. I believe that she is right on. I love 60's music. I love Janis and Jimmy too. I love all kinds of music even from the 30's and 40's I was born in the wrong era I think. I don't get into the music now I think music that is soulful is much better. I love adele and the foo fighters too. I know they have meaning. I must be in love to make love. My husband is the only man for me. I think I would be with a woman before I would cheat on my husband. If a woman came onto me I might think about it because I haven't had sex in so long... but that would be the only thing. I don't like men because i was rape and men make me feel threatened ...they are nasty creatures and overbearing and hateful. I hate men. Seriously they think they know better than you do and tend to be self-righteous and condescending. I don't need that. I had a black man come on to me and he is nice looking but he isn't smart and not well spoken I would have not EVER slept with him the way he acted. He was so rude and crass. I finally told him he needed to be a gentleman I didn't want to hear it I wasn't like that. I am a one man woman and even if me and my husband aren't intimate it doesn't matter I don't want a man. I don't like men (I didn't tell him that) but I don't. I would rather be with a girl. I would ! I don't want a man. I could see myself having sex with a woman WAY more than a man and would much rather do that than a man. I just don't want a penis inside of me. sorry for the bluntness. I don't like them. I was RAPED at 6 and I don't need that shit. I don't ...
I am going to talk about something happy now. I am making some curry tonight. I bought something at World Market that is yummy it is sauces and I am taking some of the leftover chicken and making a curry and going to make rice and save the dumplings for when hubby comes home.
I can't wait for my tattoos and shopping going to take my girlfriend to get her lip pierced too. she wants it done. I am going to get my nicoderm patches too to quit smoking I CAN'T WAIT ! I am going to be able to breathe.
well hope all is well with my readers thanks for listening. bye for now
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